Raising an honourable child
Children learn every good and bad behaviour from their first source of education known "family". Nurturing the spirit of sacrifice in modern children is one of the most important aspects which may have many effects on their future life. Parents will also feel satisfied and proud when they see this spirit evolve in their child because they see it as reflection of good parenting and upbringing. Institutionalization of the spirit of forgiveness and sacrifice makes the idea of being helpful a priority in the child's moral behaviour and it can also be transferred to their own child as well. Consequently, everyone will be a part of spreading this admirable tradition.
Prophet Muhammad stated: "God bless the father who helped his son do good."
Encourage your child to help others and help him grow as a human being and as a person who can bravely face his challenges.
In order for the child to grow with good manners and for him to be less self-centred, the following guidelines are offered:
· If you don’t want your child to grow up being selfish, first, try to strengthen him to feel more confident, positive and secure and then pay attention to other people's interests. When a person is proactive in doing good, not only he finds himself more capable than before, but he will also find more motivation in himself to be more useful and honourable. By the age of 3, most children show emotions such as empathy and kindness toward other children or family members when they see them going through rough times. These are the special times where you can teach them generous behaviour.
· To raise an honourable child, parents have to start teaching life values to their children from the very beginning and they should remind them that no one can live alone. Benevolent and generous children don’t only think about themselves and their own interests, they also consider other people's feelings and needs as well. They learn that the happiness of the people around them is reflected by their good behaviour towards them. Generous children honour socialization and value the feature of forgiveness. Most children don’t always like to forgive or to be kind but if they feel like it, it is better to help them through the process.
· Teach your child how to be helpful and independent as early as possible even if the task stars from your own home. He can fix his seat, help his grandmother, get out of his seat or he can even read a novel for his younger sibling.
· Children gradually learn how to understand other people's feelings and they learn to respect them as well. But with targeted training and planning, superior characteristics can be developed in them. The best education for your child is for him to imitate things and behaviours that are happening around him. Be a role model for your child. If parents do as they say, then their child will feel as if he or she is living is an honest and committed environment and as a result, from those very early stages of childhood, the act of being generous will be formed in the child. For example, parents must always be kind, helpful, and thoughtful. They can play a huge role in building up their child's character if they give out gifts on birthday parties, help the poor, help other kids by giving them toys, and so on.
· Teach your child directly about social responsibilities and give him the idea that "you have to help those who are less fortunate than you".
· Use every opportunity to talk with your child about what is happening in the world. You can talk to him about how he can be a help to create a better life for other people and that what things must be changed. Explain for him that even with a little bit of effort and a short amount of time, big changes can be made.
· Find your child's talents and interests and find a place or an organization where he can be active in it. For example, if your child loves to cook, volunteer him in a public kitchen or if he likes animals, volunteer him to help in an animal shelter.
· Try to find other children that share the same interests as you and your child or find a volunteer activity that you and your children or even the whole family can participate in and turn it into a fun routine activity. If your child has a particular interest in his toys or his clothing, ensure him that he does not have to give them away. Once children realize that they can keep their favourite belongings, they feel more open to the fact that it is okay to give them away to other people who need them more.
· Generous children learn quickly how to share their food, clothes, toys and etc. with other children and thus they expand their group of friends and relationships. Let your child give away whatever toy or clothing he has that no longer suite his age, but remember, you should never force them to give away whatever they find amusing.
· Have your child play with other children who have a softer side and that are more polite, ergo, your child will learn these kinds of behaviours from spending time with them. Once your kid feels secure, he or she will learn how to interact with other people as well. Thus, if kids understand that they are supported by their parents and that they don’t have to prove anything to them, the feeling of being secure will build up in them and in time, they will learn how to pay attention to other people's needs as well as their own. If parents notice the fact that their child is sharing his toys with his playmates, they should applaud him for such behaviour.
· Younger children respond to harsh methods. If parents observe that two children are fighting over a toy, it is best that they put away the toy for a bit and once the children understand the fact of playing together and sharing, they can bring it back. Learning social behaviour needs patterns, practice and time.
Source: Mahjubah magazine
Other links:
The Knowledge and Mutual Cooperation of the Educators
