The Lesson

Roger McGough

Chaos ruled OK in the classroom

as bravely the teacher walked in

the nooligans ignored him

hid voice was lost in the din

"The theme for today is violence

and homework will be set

I'm going to teach you a lesson

one that you'll never forget"

He picked on a boy who was shouting

and throttled him then and there

then garrotted the girl behind him

(the one with grotty hair)

Then sword in hand he hacked his way

between the chattering rows

"First come, first severed" he declared

"fingers, feet or toes"

He threw the sword at a latecomer

it struck with deadly aim

then pulling out a shotgun

he continued with his game

The first blast cleared the backrow

(where those who skive hang out)

they collapsed like rubber dinghies

when the plug's pulled out

"Please may I leave the room sir?"

a trembling vandal enquired

"Of course you may" said teacher

put the gun to his temple and fired

The Head popped a head round the doorway

to see why a din was being made

nodded understandingly

then tossed in a grenade

And when the ammo was well spent

with blood on every chair

Silence shuffled forward

with its hands up in the air

The teacher surveyed the carnage

the dying and the dead

He waggled a finger severely

"Now let that be a lesson" he said